Bear Droppings
Tuesday, December 30, 2003
Buyin' stuff
Went to Hastings in Auburn with G-Money. It's like Media Play, in that they have tons of movies, music, and books, and aren't located in C-Town. I had $100 to spend, but only plunked down about $40. Got Creepshow and The Living Daylights (Timothy Dalton as James Bond) on previously-viewed dvd, and three books (all horror). Next order of business - go to Circuit City or Best Buy to get a couple more dvds. After all, I only have a couple more days before I have to start my monthly spending-limit program up again. Maybe I'll hit the video stores in town for some previously-viewed dvds as well. Gotta love the dvds...
Today's other task - work on a short story. I had an idea this morning, and wrote most of it before noon. Finished it when I got back from Hastings. It's not bad, but it would have been better if I hadn't left in the middle of it to go shopping. Oh well, that's what rewrites are for. Anyway, I feel like I've accomplished something. Even if it's only slightly over two pages long.
Once again, it's friggin' cold in here. What gives? The thermostat says it's about 70 degrees, but I don't buy it. I need to find a sweater or something.
Speaking of clothes, I need to get some new ones. The parents are going to pass me along some funds to that end, and hopefully I'll be able to get it done tomorrow. I hate clothes-shopping, but what're you gonna do? Everybody needs pants...
-B
Monday, December 29, 2003
Fun with electricity
As a service to all of you out there that think Louie The Lightning Bug was just B-S-ing you about the dangers of electricity all those years, I'll now describe the times that I've nearly gotten myself shocked to death.
This is brought on, by the way, by the fact that I received a minor shock on Christmas morning. You see, I had my video camera plugged into the wall socket (my battery, as usual, was dead) and was taping my nephew's wacky Christmas antics. Well, I reached for the battery charger which was the connecting point between the wall socket and the cord feeding power to the camera. I happened to touch the little metal connector points with my finger. These are the little pins that pass the juice into the battery when it's charging. Thus, my finger got a little jolt of electricity, making my hand feel weird for the next 15 minutes or so. That minor charge got me to reminiscing...
When I was in college, the family moved to a new house. During Christmas vacation (I think), I set to the task of putting all of my stuff in it's rightful place in my new room. Well, I got caught up with a bunch of electronic equipment (tv, vcr, video game systems) and was trying to get them all situated. For some reason, I had two or three power cords in my hands. I wanted to plug something into the wall, but my hands were full. So, rather than putting a couple of things down, I decided on another plan. Actually, it was instinctual (stupid instincts!). You know how, if you're trying to get into your car while holding onto a bunch of stuff, you might hold your keychain or something with your mouth until you can get your hands free? (I'm not the only one that does that, right?) Well, this time it wasn't keys, but the tv power cord. And it wasn't the nicely insulated part either. I brilliantly placed the two metal dealies that go into the wall socket RIGHT BETWEEN MY LIPS. Nice. Anyway, I felt a cold blue shiver run through my body as whatever juice was still in the tv and/or cord emptied itself into me. My mouth had made a nice little circuit. I felt very weird all night, and was scolded for my stupidity by KDB when I told her the story.
But the real trouble, the one that could have killed me, happened many years earlier. I was in the third or fourth grade, maybe. Bro-D and I were being baby-sat for while the parents were out at a party or some-such. As we played in Bro-D's room, I got the bright idea to teach my older brother about circuits, since I had learned about them in school sometime around then.
I grabbed a paperclip and straightened it out. I told Bro-D, "When I stick this into just one of the electric socket holes, it'll still be an open circuit, so the electricity won't do anything." I procedded to jam the clip into the left hole in the socket under the bedroom window. Nothing happened.
"But when I put it into both holes, it'll make a closed circuit, and the electricity will be able to flow." Or something like that. I removed the clip, bent it into a U shape, and inserted it into the socket.
That's when time slowed down. I remember seeing everything happening in slow-motion, like The Matrix "bullet-time" effect. I put the clip into the holes while holding the clip with my thumb and index finger by the curve of the U shape. Suddenly, I see the two ends of the clip start to glow yellow. Then, the yellow glow starts racing up the clip on both sides, towards my fingers. I pulled my fingers apart and my hand away just before the yellow glow reached them, then
BANG!
The clip sizzled, all the lights went out, and a little wisp of smoke came out of the socket. Bro-D and I sat looking at each other in the fading light of evening that came in through the window. We could see that the wall socket was charred black, as was a bit of the wallpaper around it. I looked at my fingers and realized that I had come through that experiment without injury. And yet, we both knew we were dead. The babysitters would tell the parents what we had done (what I had done) and we'd be grounded for all eternity.
But when we crept out of the room to see if the babysitters had noticed all the commotion and the lights going out and all, we saw that the lights in the den were still on. The babysitters were still watching tv in the one room in the house that still had power. A miracle.
I don't think the babysitters ever found out what happened, but the parents sure did. After all, it's hard to hide the fact that the lights won't come on anywhere in the house and one of the bedrooms smells like fried paper.
At any rate, it is rather amazing that I didn't get severely killed with that little science lesson. I sure learned my lesson. Er, actually, considering the other times I've had run-ins with electricity, I guess I haven't. (We won't get into the story about the time me and Bro-D tried to defrost a bag of bread in the microwave that still had a metal twist-tie on it.) The point is, don't be an idiot like me. Be careful with electricity.
Gotta go clean out my toaster with a knife.
-B
Saturday, December 27, 2003
Christmas and so forth
I hope everyone had a great Christmas. I did, thanks for asking. I got to visit with several of my friends and my family, I got some good gifts (loads of movies, a dvd writer, some other good stuff), and I got to make a cool little video of my little nephew Danny-boy enjoying his Christmas. Very fun.
Last night we had a party for KDB's birthday. Also, very fun. Conversed with several cool people, a couple of whom I didn't know before the evening began. Half-watched a great bowl game 'tween Cal and Va. Tech. Stayed up till 3AM playing Trivial Pursuit (I was in the lead with 4 pie wedges when KDB stormed off of the set for reasons that remain unknown to me. As far as I could tell, it had something to do with Joseph Stalin. Doesn't it always?? Anyway, that pretty much ended the game, so I declare myself the winner. Yea.) Good party.
Today I got a Freddy Vs. Jason poster from the scraggly-bearded poster guy at the mall. I always wonder if he's an honest dealer or if he's the mall-equivalent of a carny. Oh well, I guess it doesn't matter. At any rate, as far as I know it's an "original" poster, as opposed to a reprint. I can't tell most of the time. Considering going back for the Jason X poster. Sad.
I've got most of next week off from work, so I'm going to drown myself in movies and video games till I have to go back on Friday. Woo-hoo! I should be able to make a decent-sized dent in the stack of unwatched dvds on my shelf. Maybe I can muster up a trip to Hastings with G-Money. Haven't done that in awhile.
Later taters!
-B
Sunday, December 21, 2003
Weekend
Sorry it's been awhile. Let's get you caught up on what's been going on this weekend.
Friday, I took a half-day and went around shopping with KDB. Finished my Christmas shopping. Woo hoo! Then Friday night, KDB, TWL and I watched Catch Me If You Can. Mighty fine movie.
Saturday was spent watching the Falcons beat the Bucanneers while wrapping presents. What are the odds that the Falcons will pick up Warren Sapp in the off-season? I think there's a shot, and he'd sure help the team. But I don't want a guy that gets the kind of negative attention he gets on my team. I'd like the Falcons to remain as clean as possible. Well, whatever. Anyway, after that we (TWL and KDB and myself) hung around the house, talking.
The question arose: If the New York Jets and San Jose Sharks ran into each other in the airport, would a well-choreographed, musical fight break out? We may never know...
Today (Sunday), we did a live Nativity scene at the church, complete with sheep, a donkey, and a llama. Not sure if llamas were on the scene when Jesus was born, but it worked. I guess camels are hard to come by in C-town. Anyway, it was good. Large crowds, a little bit of TV coverage, general good Christian fellowship and remembering the Savior's birth. And, I got to talk to a real cute girl I hadn't seen in quite a while. Always a good thing.
And now, I'm watching The House On Sorority Row, an 80s slasher movie. I love these movies. Nothing like some mindless violence to finish out an evening.
Not much longer till Christmas!
-B
Wednesday, December 17, 2003
Gilthoniel, A Elbereth!
Just got back from Return Of The King. Two words: Awe. Some.
Every time I see one of these films, I think that I've missed out on the opportunity to be a part of one of the greatest undertakings the modern world has ever seen. What I wouldn't give to have been involved. Not that I was invited to be a part of the making of the movies, but I was alive here on Earth and should have dropped everything and gone to New Zealand to beg and plead to be a part of this.
Well, at least I can be involved as an audience member. And I certainly intend to be in the audience again, several more times. Sure, the movie is butt-breakingly long, but it's worth everything your body has to endure.
I guess the other thing about these movies, kindof a corollary to wishing I had been a part of their creation, is that they show that people can accomplish great things if they have the courage and determination. I'm talking about the characters in the story and the filmmakers themselves. Tasks that look impossible at the outset can be completed with great success if you give it your all, whether it's fighting hordes of evil creatures to save the world or making movies out of books long considered unfilmable.
With that In mind I say, I want to do something great with my life. I don't know what that is yet -- maybe it's writing a book or making a movie, maybe it's fighting against injustice in some way, or maybe it's raising a family or being a leader in my church or job. Whatever it is, when my life is over I want to be able to say that I've accomplished something, and done it with courage and commitment.
Of course, neither Frodo nor Peter Jackson did anything alone. They had the help of great friends along the way, and we all need that. I for one, feel very fortunate to have the friends and family that I do. I know that they will stand with me, come what may. And I will stand with them.
I think that everyone can learn this from the Lord Of The Rings books and movies: Greatness lies within each of us if we are brave and determined, and if we have friends to back us up.
That's enough seriousness for awhile. G'night.
-B
Tuesday, December 16, 2003
Online, schmonline
Gather 'round, kiddies, and I'll tell you a tale. It's a tale of sorrow and woe, and of slow-ass Buy.com making Christmas miserable for one pure-hearted soul.
It seems that our hero, we'll call him Bennett, decided to make his Christmas shopping easy this year by purchasing most of the gifts for his friends and family online through Buy.com. Now this was nothing new to Bennett, who had purchased many, many things from Buy.com in the past, including great heaping mounds of Christmas presents the previous two years.
However, there was one thing that made this year different. This year, the heroic and suave Bennett decided to redeem some of his Buy.com Platinum Card "reward points" to help pay for the Christmas delights he wanted to buy for his deserving and grateful loved ones. You see, over the years, Reward Points had magically accrued on his Buy.com Platinum Visa each time Bennett used it. And Bennett used it a lot.
"By redeeming these points," Bennett thought, "I can purchase gifts for everyone on my list and not have to spend as much money this year. And I'll have my Christmas shopping done early so I can spend the rest of the season enjoying the fun and celebrating the birth of Jesus Christ."
So Bennett redeemed his points. But the evil ogres at Buy.com had tricked our erstwhile and handsome hero. Instead of giving him his earned reward right away, they said, "We will send you a gift certificate for the amount of your Reward Points. You can't use the points you've earned until the gift certificate (complete with Claim Number) arrives."
"BWA-HA-HA-HA-HA!!" they laughed.
Bennett was concerned that things were not going according to plan. But his true and noble heart spoke to him, saying "Lub-dub, lub-dub." And so, taking the wise counsel of his internal organs, Bennett was patient. He waited for his gift certificate to arrive.
And waited.
And waited.
And today, with but a week or so left until Christmas, Bennett's patience finally broke. He did ride his faithful Explorer to the stores and bought presents for all (or, nearly all) of the people on his list. And his lunch hour did stretch far beyond its traditional 60-minute bounds.
"At last, I am finished (or, nearly finished) with my Christmas shopping," said Bennett to no one in particular. "And now I shall have to go to Debtor's Prison like my Uncle Elmer because my Buy.com gift certificate did not arrive in time to aid me in my shopping. Alas."
And so, while he has not yet been tossed into Debtor's Prison, Bennett's humble and forthright heart has been tarnished by the cruelty of the second-most-popular online mass-merchandise store. And still he waits for his gift certificate...
-B
Sunday, December 14, 2003
Score 1 for the good guys
So, the big dang deal happening of the day is the capture of a certain evil jackass named Saddam Hussein. Apparently, the U.S. forces caught him sometime this morning. Or perhaps last night. Way to go USA!
As we live in a 24-hour news kind of world, I suppose that it would be easy enough for me to find out the details of his capture and comment on them. But that's not the kind of guy I am. Me, I'd rather write a haiku about it...
At Large No More
Mustached dictator
Caught with pants around ankles
Who's your daddy, now?
-B
Quick shout-outs
Congrats to TWL on three well-played games of NCAA 2003. As you beat me 2 out of 3, I will now have to lie awake all night, thinking of defensive strategies. Thanks.
Rumor has it that KDB is returning to C-town this comin-up week. That makes me right happy. Is she joining us for Return Of The King on Wednesday? That's what they say...
EMN, where you at? I've seen your dad at Zaxbys the last two times I've gone. I saw you in... August?
Mad Max, enjoy your vacation.
I think I hear one of those damned cricket-spiders in my hallway. No time to hunt it now, as I must sleep. I swear, if I had a genie grant me three wishes, those things would be extinct by wish 2.
Thought to ponder: What species would you like to see extinct?
-B
Saturday, December 13, 2003
C-C-C-Cold...
So I'm typing away in my bedroom, and I can't feel my fingers. It's righteous cold in here, even with my $12 Target heating-fan whirring away. I suppose a brother like me could turn on the central heat, but I'm trying my best to leave it off all winter and save on the outrageous gas bills. 'Course, this month's electricity bill was abnormally high for this time of year because I've been running these heat fans non-stop, but stilll. In the end, it should save me some green.
Speaking of money, I've picked a bad time to be broke. My checking account is tapped out (Payday is Monday), my good plastic is nearing the breaking point, I've got no cash in my pocket, and Santa Claus won't be here to help me out for another couple of weeks. I guess some of my cohorts will be getting their holiday loot around February, when I can afford to get 'em something. Shame, too, cause I like buying presents for folks.
Actually, I've got presents for Mad Max, G-Money, KDB, and J McC paid for and waiting (or on the way). Oh, and part of dad's. Just gotta dig deep in my pockets for the rest of the gang and my family. Come Payday, I'll hit the virtual mall like Evander Holyfield and knock out this Christmas shopping thing. That'll be one less worry for the season.
Talked to the son of a local artist this morning. Mentioned that I had some itch to take up painting and he suggested that I take lessons from his mom. Considering it. Probably costs money (see above).
Time to retreat to the den, where it's warmer. Peace-out!
-B
Friday, December 12, 2003
Begin Weekend Now
Rarely has the end of the week been such a welcome sight. It's been a tedious week at the ol' Cube Farm. Amazing how a total lack of productivity can extend the week far longer than the expected 5 days. Well, maybe next week I'll get something done. Lord knows I have enough to work on.
We did Secret Santa this week. I score some snack items, a movie ticket, a Magic 8-Ball pen, and some Silly Putty. These last two items have been my little obsession in my cube. Since I got it on Tuesday, I've been basing most of my decisions on the advice of the Magic 8-Ball. (see the Unofficial Magic 8 Ball Page for more information.) Should I ask out the cute girl from two rows down? "Sorry, no." Would she accept if I did ask her out? "Doubt it." Will I finish my latest project on time? "Signs point to yes." (Surprise!) Will I be late with everything else that is due the same day? "Outlook not so good." Will the Falcons win again this season? "Don't count on it."
As for the Silly Putty (sillyputty.com), it's better than any Executive Stress Ball. You can shape it, bounce it, copy the newspaper (backwards) with it... everything a workin' man needs. Highly recommended.
Big weekend activities: Halo tonight with TWL, working with the Youth group at the butt-crack of dawn tomorrow (gotta be at the church at 9:00AM! On a Saturday!!), then probably loads of movie-watching. Not much going on, football-wise tomorrow. Actually, that's kindof a relief. The Dawgs don't play again till New Year's Day (I'm pretty sure) in the MediaPlay-PoulanWeedeater-Pets.Com-Lysol-MarthaStewartLiving-CapitolOne Citrus Bowl, versus Purdue. Should be fun. Sunday, the Falcons get beat by Indianapolis. Also, should be fun.
TWL has arrived with his super-special Halo-optimized controller thingy. We'll see...
More later, if you're lucky.
-B
Thursday, December 11, 2003
Supplemental
This is some bullshit. Dumbass over there published our first little missive, but thought it could use a tweak or two. So he edits it, tries to republish, then POOF, the son-of-a-bitch disappears. All that shows up on The Drop is the danged title. This shit better work now, or I think our bloggin' days are over.
-Brent P. Shitpen
A New Beginning...
After much internal debate, I am joining the ranks of the Blogged. Never one to be left out of the new fads, but always one to come in late, I took quite a while to decide to put this together. Now that I am blogging, I suppose I'll have an outlet to tell stories about my day or about how life is treating me. However, this comes at a price: more time spent in front of The Infernal Machine. It's not like I don't get enough of computers at work...
Nevertheless, here I am. No doubt I will start strong, posting regularly for awhile before tapering off to weekly, monthly, occasionally, and never. Such is my usual way.
Now, time for the introductions. I am Bennett R. Hipps, I live in Columbus, Georgia. I graduated from the University of Georgia and have been working as a technical writer for TSYS (a major credit card processor) since 2000. I have a brother, a pair of parents, and a smattering of friends. Several of these people may be featured in my postings down the line.
The title of my blog comes from my nickname, Bear, as well as the fact that most of what I write here will likely be a bunch of crap.
Now, a special guest:
Brent P. Shitpen here. That asswipe up there took up enough space, so I'll be short with ya. I'll be checkin' in from time to time to set y'all straight on a few things or generally kick dirt in Bennett's face, so pay attention when I'm talkin. Or typing or whateverthehell. That's all.
Thank you, Brent. That's all from me for now, too. Dinner's in the oven and a Mystery Science Theater 3000 (MST3K, for future reference) episode ("Gamera Vs. Barugon") awaits me in my living room. More to come later, no doubt.
-B
